Thommo's Two Up

IT CAN often seem that the Great Bunyip, who has quite the sense of humour, played His greatest joke on poor, horny humanity. Some species have it easy – wriggle under a bit of wet bark, address yourself as “Mother” and emerge sometime later as a throng intent on nibbling the Billabong’s roses. Mankind isn’t so lucky. While it is almost inevitable that roses also will figure at some point in humanity’s reproductive process, as may flash dinners and baubles in baby blue boxes from a well known Collins Street emporium, it is the sheer cost of our oviparous urge that sets us apart from all other species. A tasty feed and a night at the flicks, followed by coffees with little Italian poofter biscuits going soggy in the saucer and an evening’s overture to amour can quite easily generate a $200 bill. Of all Creation, when it comes to mating, only the poor salmon is more royally screwed.

That said, and even allowing for a couple of choctops, it is hard to imagine any dalliance generating an overhead of $2475, which is one of the sums our PM’s very special friend Craig Thomson is said to have spent on a single night’s entertainment. Even if the bill included parking and lots of licorice allsorts, that remains such a significant sum it strains belief. Or did until friend of the Billabong, Bob On The Murray, sent a link to a promotional video for Room Service Escorts, whose customer service rep collected Thomson’s signature, credit card impression and licence number.

One possible explanation comes at the 2:13 mark, where the energetic fellow in the blue suit appears to have drawn inspiration from parliamentary protocol and granted himself a pair. Buying in bulk can be a nifty way to make dollars go further, but not always.

Surprisingly, while the video offers naughty secretaries, naughty receptionists and other naughty occupations, there are no naughty nurses – something you might have thought the naughty head of a hospital workers’ union would insist upon, especially as his members were footing the bill.

UPDATE: If things go badly for the beleaguered MP, this company might be just the place  to begin a fresh career. It would certainly be more peaceful than the union he left behind:

For another HSU home movie, consult Andrew Bolt and scroll to the end of his post.