Monday, October 17, 2011

"Your Fine Is In The Mail"

VICTORIA is looking for a new slogan. Put aside any thoughts that we don’t actually need little snippets of boosterism slapped on expensively re-printed letterheads and contemplate how best to sum up this beautiful and peculiar corner of our wide brown land. How about:

·       Smile For The Revenue Camera
·       Fine Place For Drivers
·       We’re Watching You
·       Behave!
·       Citizens Are What Government Must Put Up With
·       Infested With Bicycles
·       Warning: Slow People In Lycra
·       We’re Not South Australia
·       Home of Ted And The Claytons Conservatives
·       Liberal Government, Labor Bureaucrats

Quite a few years ago, our number plates were graced with a perfectly fine slogan: Victoria, The Garden State.

Why not revive it?
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20 comments:

  1. Sinclair DavidsonOctober 17, 2011 at 10:26 AM

    "Still waiting for Liberal government"

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 10:30 AM

    Feel free to insult Michael "Windscreens" O'Brien

    ReplyDelete
  3. arOctober 17, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    Because gardens require watering which is planet-destroying?

    ReplyDelete
  4. PhillipGeorge(c)2011October 17, 2011 at 10:56 AM

    because Gardens are man made Prof!

    and dams? if they were really so bad fish would refuse to fuck in them for ideological reasons.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    The Nanny State

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    Love the last one, so apt

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Victoria - The Nanny State

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 1:39 PM

    I suggest:

    "Victoria, The Dead Garden State."

    thanks to water restrictions.

    ReplyDelete
  9. arOctober 17, 2011 at 2:00 PM

    Anonymous, you're not far from the mark. I think they actually did have licence plates which read "Victoria, The Safety State".

    Someone correct me if I'm wrong...

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    I know it is a bit confronting message for kiddies, but it would help Red Ted if he saw this message often in a given day.

    Victoria - Dear Premier, Grow a Pair

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    err, how about The Victorian State

    ReplyDelete
  12. 1735099October 17, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    Vics - they come to Qld with one clean shirt and $20 and change neither whilst here.....

    ReplyDelete
  13. rubberduckOctober 17, 2011 at 9:07 PM

    The garden state slogan on licence plates started in New Jersey in 1954. The NJ governor tried to veto the idea because it was stupid, but the legislature insisted. The original description of NJ as the garden state was from 1876.

    http://www.state.nj.us/njfacts/garden.htm

    ReplyDelete
  14. Land o' the FreeOctober 17, 2011 at 9:51 PM

    Victoria: The Shut Up! State

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousOctober 17, 2011 at 10:08 PM

    Western Australia, The State of Excitement ...

    Official Animal: the Numbat.

    I just don't know how anyone could top that.

    http://www.csu.edu.au/australia/state-emblems.html

    ReplyDelete
  16. mojoOctober 18, 2011 at 4:25 AM

    "Pay up, Sucker"

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousOctober 18, 2011 at 5:44 AM

    Victoria: Another Mord-ant State

    ReplyDelete
  18. TimTOctober 18, 2011 at 8:11 AM

    Prof, I suggest only a slight change to 'Victoria, the Garden State' is needed.

    How about:

    Victoria, the Guarded State

    ReplyDelete
  19. MinicaptOctober 18, 2011 at 12:56 PM

    "Victoria: Beyond The ACT"

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  20. FionaOctober 18, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    Overrun By Aliens And Weirdos

    ReplyDelete