The Drum's Next Leading Hand

THE NEWS in Melbourne this morning is that Toyota has laid off 350 workers, management’s efforts to get a little more co-operation from its workforce having been foiled by the Gillard government’s indulgence of bolshie antics on the shop floor. PM Julia Prawn’s solution was bailouts and subsidies, which is what you would expect from a leader with the meat in her tail and nothing but crap in her head. First cruel a business, then tap the taxpayer for the money to keep it afloat. In circles where the brothel creeper Craig Thomson continues to be presented as a dedicated, upright and decent representative of the people, such logic finds little difficulty carrying the day.

What to do with 300 unemployed production line workers? Well here is an opportunity that might help one of them: The Drum needs a new editor, and who better to know something of the real world than a worker now wondering where the cash for mortgage, school fees, car costs, energy bills and grocery bills is going to come from. Seriously, how difficult can journalism be? Not too hard if the Drum’s current offerings are any indication. True, there are a few identifiable kernels in the current screenload of effluent, but one gets the impression they owe their place to a little box-ticking on the part of the acting editor. 'We had better have a conservative or two', you can imagine the Drum’s brain trust saying, 'and then we can fill the rest of the site with exposes of rich people’s ruination of soccer, why irrigators are the spawn of Satan and whether the Greens under Old Mother Milne will be able to extend the magnificence of Bob Brown’s many towering achievements.'

There is nothing, in other words, someone with competence in spot welding or auto upholstery installation could not do at less cost and for a more uplifting result.

So, ex-Toyota workers, why not give former editor Jonathan Green’s mentor, Bruce Belsham, a call? His number is (02) 8333 4303 and he is very keen to hear from potential applicants. If you tell him you know nothing of grammar, fact-checking or what might constitute editorial balance, that would be a big plus. The Drum has standards to maintain, after all.

UPDATE: Another, and perhaps more likely, pool of potential Drum masters might be found on Spencer Street. According to this morning's Media Diary in The Australian, the baffled broadsheet's daily sales are now down to 163,000. Fairfax stock, by the way, has sagged to 73 cents, just 5 cents better than its all-time low. The end cannot be far off.