Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Quolls, Beware

The Bunyipmobile ate up Victoria over the past few days, pausing for a spell in the Grampians, where a Bunyip's efforts to save the newly rediscovered tiger quoll came to nought. The appealing little creatures had been believed extinct in the region for well over a century, until one was recorded padding past a hidden video camera some weeks ago. They are in big trouble now. If foxes and ferals were not enough to worry about, the quolls will now have environmental bureaucrats crawling over their turf, setting live-catch traps, installing radio transmitters and all the other things grant-fed academic greenies like to play with when not scaring Age reporters with tall tales of global watming.



One hundred and forty years those quolls have survived since the last sighting. If they heed the Professor's advice, written on carrots and personalised notepaper and stuffed into hollows and fallen logs, they will survive another 140 years.

What they must do is avoid the experts who will shortly descend in droves -- once the grants are approved, that is.

15 comments:

  1. I am organising help for them as we speak,I have found a leaky old boat which they can use to sail to Indonesie as "asylum Seekers" Any chance of a Grant from Grantsville? Are you listening Heidi Victoria?

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  2. They'll never escape the efforts of the Tiger Greenies, whose spots are caused by skin diseases from not washing

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  3. It's just a possum which got caught up in a dot painting festival

    The Irish Liom

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    1. Droll and quite observant Patrick O'Lion. Mind you some super sensitive soul will accuse you of "cultural insensitivity".
      As an aside does anyone still call the Grampians "Garywerde" [or however you spell it]?

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    2. The Scots produce some very nice people, and some very nice inventions too. Then there is the equilibrium factor - they send their horrible little gits to Australia to tell us how to run our lives. Does anyone remember the name of that awful ALP Minister of Scots descent who told us that not only was "Grampians" a mis-spelling, the place would henceforth be called Gariwerd. I live within a 2 hour drive, and I never hear it called gariwerd.

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    3. Steve Crabb ,who was Minister for Conservation (?) back in the days when Mother Russia was Premier of Victoria.

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    4. Thank you W154. My word, they were dark days in Victoria; - Cain, Joan; Clive, etc

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    5. Thank you Thomas. I had cast that Scots git into my forgettery. You forgot that other financial genious Mr Jolly" in your little list of those who cast a sad shadow over us in the '80s.

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  4. After a year in Indonesia ,and residency confirmed ,they can return to Australia ,the country of Persecution,for extended visits,like a lot of others we know!

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  5. This sounds wise (from your link)

    "They actually tend to seek each other's scats out, they poo and wee in piles, in little latrine sites and over that 500-hectare home range," he said.
    ...

    Mr Neal says the centre is training a team of dogs to hunt for scats."

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  6. A possum should be able to identify as a quoll if she (or he) so chooses.

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  7. "Mr Neal says the centre is training a team of dogs to hunt for scats"
    What could possibly go wrong? That thing looks almost good enough to eat to me let alone to a doggy.

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  8. The Old and Unimproved DaveOctober 8, 2013 at 6:23 PM

    Ever get the feeling that, in feral feline society, they talk in hushed tones about those "weird-arse alien cats from the planet Quoll"?

    Don't know whether they leave crop circles in the ferals' cat-nip plantations, but probably more than one moggie has woken up from anaesthesia missing his balls and having a nagging feeling that a microchip had been implanted in him, and wondering about alien feline abduction.

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  9. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.October 8, 2013 at 8:13 PM

    He looks like something out of Alice in Wonderland, Prof. A little bit tubby and with a purple nose. In another age they would have made a particular sort of spotted pill-box hat out of him. He's certainly very eye-catching.

    Hope he leads the academic quoll hunters a merry dance.

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  10. I hope now that his presence has been detected it doesn't affect his Quollity of life.

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