BEYOND Melbourne, where the silly things footballers do tend
to be remembered for longer than their follies warrant, few will recall The Adventures of Little
Boris, a short film that caused quite a stir in 2009. Without wanting to be a spoiler for those keen
to view the YouTube video, the plot follows the amorous progress of a rubber
chicken as it woos, seduces and drives a van over a plump beauty from the
freezer cabinet. While poorly shot, the film does have some redeeming social
value, as Boris sets a fine example by wearing a condom throughout his every
carnal encounter, albeit on his head.
Alas for North Melbourne’s pocket-camera auteurs, safe-sex
advocacy did not save them from the wrath of those who take offence for a
living. While Andrew Demetriou and the AFL’s other old women clucked and
scolded and went to great pains to let everyone know they recognised the video as
a metaphor for sporting society’s institutionalised oppression of women, the
entire team was fined a five-figure sum and the cash donated to some noisy feminists. Hard though it is to credit, Age reporterette Samantha Lane won a
major journalism award for her
scoop, which sheds more light on major journalism awards than does the
video on the sex lives of chooks, rubber or otherwise.
Four years on and one can only feel sorry for the poor
Kangaroos and their emptied wallets. If only they had thought to persuade their
critics that footballers are transgressive artists they might have split a very
generous cheque from the Australia Council, which yesterday
welcomed its new CEO, Tony Grybowski. Appointed by Minister Tony Burke,
Grybowski would almost certainly have lauded Little Boris as a creation worthy
of generous public support, for such is the conclusion to be drawn from the
$38,000 awarded one year after the Little Boris outrage to Linda Dement,
who will use it for
the
“creative development of an audio-visual performance responding to live data capture from an all-girl roller derby game.”
No doubt it will make
compelling viewing.
A professional arts administrator – did Raphael or Turner have one of
those? – Grybowski was on the panel that approved Dement’s hand-out, so one
assumes he thoroughly appreciates her oeuvre, which she is very keen to flash.
Respectable readers should abandon this post right here, as the images below
make Little Boris seem rather tame by comparison.
(A considerable amount of empty
blog space now follows. This will allow the sensitive to depart before being confronted by the who and what their taxes are supporting.)
Porking not your bag? Well, what about an act of loving
intimacy with a skinned rabbit and companion Coke bottle?
While citizens unversed in the modern aesthetic may not recognise high
art when they see it, all will understand the meaning of
this:
$75.3 million
That is extra
funding awarded to the Australian Council in Wayne Swan’s latest act of
ledger-demain.
Do you think Grybowski and pals can spend all that cash
before September 14? If they are in the mood to try, the North Melbourne Football Club might overcome its former regrets and set to work on Boris The Sequel: Duck, Duck, Goose.
For those who cannot get enough of Ms Dement, her folio is here. Fun with Porky and Bugs is part of the pictorial sequence to be inspected by visiting her site and clicking on the image reproduced below.
