WITH $25 million available to promote our PM’s carbon tax, the opportunities for gain are immense. Some smartypants PR consultant will already have cashed his or her government cheque for suggesting that dogs make adequate replacements for electric blankets, but there is much more largesse yet to be dispensed. That is the great thing about this government. No matter how deeply it pushes Australia into the red, its printers will always be standing ready to run off a pallet’s load of fresh currency for the benefit and gain of its supporters. Just ask Annabel Crabb, whose contributions to the Drum (and other fora) could not have hurt her chances of landing what is reported to be a new gig as the resident wit on 7.30.
That is fine and dandy for Ms Crabb, but those Australians who are neither Maureen Dowd impersonators nor the beneficiaries of Mark Scott’s golden patronage need not despair! There is a cash a’plenty up for grabs, so don’t dally. Get yours before all the money is gone (and this government with it).
With the upcoming trout season raising thoughts of how nice it would be to fasten a new and expensive, seven-bearing reel to the Professor’s favourite rod, the following suggestions have been dispatched to Greg Combet, Minister for Fixing The Weather. The landing net will be kept handy to the letterbox, because this cheque is going to be a whopper.
and the GT model….
Two-wheel aficionados have not been overlooked...
And when the LaTrobe Valley is powered down, don’t despair
After a night or two between the sheets with Rover and Spot, it will be time to do the washing in a sustainable way….
And for greedy Murray Darling irrigators, here's your new pump…
As for pastoralists, they can cough up….
… or light up with this handy, four-legged power source for all green, book-in-bed reading needs (just make sure your sleeping companions are cattle dogs)
And when the next election comes due and Labor’s pollsters are reporting that alternate energy is no longer quite so popular, here’s the foundation of the Gillard government’s next budgetary pitch to the electorate…