DESPITE electing Adam Bandt, there remain many fine citizens who make their homes in the Melbourne suburb of Fitzroy. They like to keep an eye on the neighbourhood, watch out for thieves and other unsavoury sorts. One such bourgeois propertarian is a particular friend of the Billabong, and he has owned a nice little terrace around the corner from Kerr Street since 1982. He speaks with great authority about the area, its history and with some pride in the many famous people who make the suburb their home. This topic comes up quite often these days, as several-too-many drinks and an encounter with a booze bus cost the poor fellow his licence. Since he is also a golfer, the Professor must overcome a disdain for those who over-indulge and ferry the poor fellow to weekly rounds at Yarra Bend or Freeway. He pays for these trips by not leaving empty beer cans in the Bunyipmobile, not objecting to tobacco smoke and by pointing out the homes of famous neighbours. Actor Bruce Spence lived there, he announced recently, and further up the same street, Helen Garner hung her hat while penning Monkey Grip. Around the corner dwells former Skyhook Red Symons etc etc etc It is not terribly interesting, but it does keep his mind off Demon Rum.
Well the phone rang a moment or two ago, and on the other end was Double Bogey Daddy (renowned amongst golfers and associates alike for those extra strokes with his big-head wood). “You know, I used to see her around here a bit in the mornings,” he said of a red-headed woman who has since moved somewhere out west.
Readers curious about the inspiration for this post might want to hunt up a copy of today’s Australian and turn to page 14, where they will find a column by Glenn Milne. They will not find it online, however, because the Australian’s lawyers have pulled it and issued an apology.
Milne asserts that the carroty girl lived in Kerr Street. Double Bogey Daddy reckons she was probably just an overnight guest. If frequency of occupation is the only matter that prompted the Australian’s lawyers to such nervousness, it might be time for the newspaper to get some new ones.
UPDATE: Andrew Bolt’s post, up since the weekend, also has been redacted, despite many thousands of people having read the now-excised portions. The bits vanished are from the affadavit.
On the radio front, 2UE’s Michael Smith appears also to have had something resembling a lawyer’s hand clamped over his mouth – although this broadcast remains available.
Parliament, however, cannot be gagged nor Hansard trimmed of potentially embarrassing material. Readers curious to learn more about the lifestyles of other Fitzroy residents should go here. Make a point not to have a sharp object under the chin because the reference to $17,000 worth of dresses from Town Mode is guaranteed to make the jaw drop.