Thursday, October 13, 2011

Going To The Greens -- All 18 Of Them

DOUBLE BOGEY DADDY is waiting, also Doctor Yowie and Schmik Rick with his flash new clubs. Off to the golf course, where a glorious Melbourne day will be celebrated with an under-90 round. That's the intention, anyway.

Back later.

UPDATE: And the score? Methuselah had fewer candles on his cake than the tally of strokes on the Professor's card. This one will not be lodged with the handicapper. Definitely not. If you need another reason to despise the Greens, all those trees on golf courses would be it. Actually, they weren't just trees, they were Ents, capable of shuffling in front of an innocent drive and swallowing it whole.Bloody Bob Brown.


  1. Know why they call it golf?

    Because FUCK THIS!!!! was already taken

  2. Golf, I like Mork's discussion on the game in his drinking days.

    Cracks me up still.

  3. So the spaldings didn't go in the direction instructed; At least the Bob Browns might have kept them within course.

  4. U suck & ur blog sux, methinks ur lying, ur not even a real "professor", so go away & play more golf, & leave serious commenting to the real ppl, who are'nt demented, ok.

  5. You know it's all a massive green plot don't you professor. The anti capitalist greens have secretly taken over golf ball manufacturers and stopped producing golf balls, now they produce tree magnets. I know this for fact as I have purchased packs of Maxflis, Pinnacles and SRixons lately that all manage to find the nearest tree no matter how small. Most alarming it the apparent intelligence of these new types of golf balls as the always seem to come to rest in spots where the offending accumulation of cellulose or one of its companions remains in a direct line to the pin.

    I begin to understand my mothers attitude to the game, "Golf isn't a sport, it's a lovely walk f*^ked up by a little white ball."

  6. Not very smart thinking Bunyip. The bad scorecards are the one's you want to lodge. Then you get a large handicap and can clean up in club championships.

  7. as a former sawmill worker in the oldest managed forests of australia, now locked up of course, i can merely encourage you to take the 'green' option......

    use the stihl wood........

  8. Hi Joni!

    Never thought I would see two spellings of "sux" in the same clause.

    Well done.

    Although you, could, stand, to, lose, a, few commas.

  9. Love your comment Joni! So many spelling and grammatical mistakes in three lines. What is it with the great unwashed and basic English? Don't any complete grade seven?

    In any event, Joni, you're are latecomer. Obviously you're ignorant of Stanley's adventures in academia over past several years.

  10. PhillipGeorge(c)2011October 14, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    Prof, I thought maybe this was just a backwaters book club populated in the tens or dozens, but it seems you are considered worthy of a professional paid up troll following. The same hand in the glove of a media enquiry I imagine. Who knows, one day you might work your way up to having your own security detachment - imagine the power and glory in that. Protected person! The status in it.

  11. Now, now Joni!! If that's who you really are you miserable little tripe hound!!!

    Know that the good Professor is highly regarded in the blog world, and his valued opinions are sought by the more serious commentators around the world. Why, I've even heard that Presidents and Prime Ministers have been known to seek his well thought opinion on a host of matters!

  12. I am really impressed the erudite comments of joni's message ,Joni is probably a paid up member of the leftist A E U.

  13. Calpurnia's catOctober 15, 2011 at 8:48 AM

    joni, concise, to-the-point,exposition,of,grammar and syntax,gotta love, that post-modernist edjakashun

  14. prof - check out the website "i suck at golf".

    Has some handy hints for improving your swing, and generous helpings of pictures of lovely courses and what not.

    Or you could change your view and just call it a stroll with some whacking for stress relief. forget the score and enjoy the walk.

  15. Perhaps 'joni' trained under Number-Boy?


  16. "Never thought I would see two spellings of "sux" in the same clause."

    It's a conjugation thing. The singular is "suck"; the plural is "sux".

    Or something.

    Gotta love, those Shatner commas, but!

  17. Joni is adorable. Every good blog needs a pet troll.