Leslie Cannold, Born Leader

LESLIE CANNOLD, a remarkable woman, is "impressed by the articulateness of those occupying Zuccotti Park and the sacrifices they are making."

Well, yes, that is entirely understandable. Your Wall Street occupists not only match Cannold for coherence, they also articulate what are presumably the Fairfax columnist's concern about the unjust distribution of love tents and baby wipes, as well as the need "to pool oil, water and, er, crops".

Leslie also tells us she has "led grassroots movements". The mind boggles.

Two White Chicks Sitting Around Bashing Catholics

BEING for the most part a sensible lot with better things to do than squander two hours in the company of dills, members of the reality based community will most likely be inclined to shun the gathering taking place on Thursday night at the Readings bookshop located at 701 Glenferrie Road, Hawthorn.That is where Fairfax columnist Leslie Cannold will be "in conversation" with academic Susan Mitchell, papist-denouncing author of the error-riddled hatchet job on conservatives in general and Tony Abbott in particular.

The New Establishment loves these affair, and why not? A glass of wine, the pleasure of the like-minded's company, followed by a warm, post-chinwag glow at the thought of its moral and intellectual superiority.

How interesting it would be if a few naysayers were to report for action at Readings, perhaps even call Mitchell to account for her anti-Catholic bigotry. Why, it might spoil the luvvies' entire evening!

So if you have nothing better to do and fancy a bit of fun, remember that address:

701 Glenferrie Road, Hawthorn.

The show starts at 6pm -- and don't forget to take an audio recorder. Given Mitchell's form, she is sure to mouth at least one bigotry worthy of a complaint being lodged under the Racial and Religious Vilification Act. The left crafted and imposed that restriction on free speech, and it was very quick to use it against a couple of ratbag reverends who were less than enthusiastic about Islam. Liberal Premier Ted Baillieu has so far made no move to overturn.the law, so it remains available for giving luvvies a taste of the same rules they are always demanding be imposed on others.

For those with strength for the fight, Gerard Henderson's listing of Mitchell's mistakes makes splendid ammunition. 

Mary Magdalene, You Ignorant Slut

ONE doesn’t need to be Richard Dawkins to loathe religious feasts. Indeed, it is possible to be an indulgent agnostic, quite happy most of the time to tolerate others’ celebrations of their faiths (so long as they do not involve beheadings), and yet find the major dates of the Christian calendar infuriating in the extreme. The chaffing is not with the occasions or what they celebrate so much as the piffle served up by the ignorant and idiotic. Come every Christmas and Easter the fools emerge in droves.

At Yuletide you can bet both turkey and trifle on the proposition that someone will pen a little article, usually for the Fairfax press, insisting that Joseph and Mary were a homeless couple and, therefore, it is right and just for Caesar to render unto the indolent and indigent that which more active citizens have worked to earn. For most of the year Christanity is seen as a curse by broadsheet opinionators, but that line is abandoned without hesitation whenever Jesus can be pressed into service as a confiscatory agent of the Australian Taxation Office.

Easter brings more of the same – and much more of the same this year, with one of the more remarkable contributions coming from Leslie Cannold, who demonstrates at The Drum that, while some small doubt remains about her idiocy, there is none whatsoever in regard to her ignorance, which is absolute. The demonstration begins with her very first sentence:

Passover and Easter are upon us. While the precise timing of each festival is dictated by different calendars (Passover the lunar one and Easter by the cycle of the sun) …

No, Leslie, Easter isn’t. Just like Passover, the date is determined by the phase moon, a convention the western Church spent a good many years and millions of words thrashing out. Those with a bent for the history of religion will find that link most interesting; the less-fascinated can go here to learn in brief that Easter Sunday, and it must always be a Sunday, is the first after the full moon that follows the vernal equinox, which occurs on March 21.

What makes Cannold’s assertion so distressing is that she has just written a book rooted in her entirely unoriginal biblical scholarship, such as it is. Apparently the life of Jesus was all about his little sister’s firm abs and workout routine, her knowledge of herbs, sexual union with Judas Iscariot and advocacy of birth control. Given that Cannold, in addition to being a muddy thinker and poor writer, is also president of Reproductive Choices Australia, readers of  The Book of Rachael can give thanks that Jesus is not depicted distributing phrangers with the loaves and fishes. He is, however, having it off with Mary Magdalene, who is driven to prostitution when their affair is revealed. Pauline misogynists will be delighted that Magdalene has once again been dressed in the scarlet robe, a folk belief for which the New Testament provides not the slightest support. It is a tired old drum for an avowed feminist to be beating, but only until you recall that Cannold is also into victimhood (as befits an habitual Fairfax and Drum contributor). If there is an ounce of outrage to be squeezed from Magdalene’s debasement at the hands of the patriarchy, so be it. Cannold will install her in the biggest bed at the Daily Planet of old Jerusalem and savour every indignity she is obliged to endure.

Even for an atheist, and an ignorant one at that, the Jesus story can still come in handy.