Fish And Fouled

DEGENERATE gambler Jung Hwan Choihad had a very bad night at Crown, blowing a six-figure sum after doctoring an ATM receipt to persuade the casino he had a lot more than $12.87 in his bank account. Judge Wendy Wilmoth sent him away for two years, but imposed no punishment on his defence lawyer, who is clearly guilty of simile abuse:

Mr Steward told Judge Wendy Wilmoth that Crown did not deserve to lose its money, but to his client it was ''like a monolithic piranha dangling carrots'' of seduction, love and luxuries that were ''incapable of resisting''.

Got to watch those veggie-wielding  piranhas, especially the really big ones.