Monday, November 19, 2012

Tim Flannery, Enemy of Golf

AUSTRALIA produces some of the world's best golfers -- and some decidedly provincial tournaments.  Big stars need to be dragged out here, often with a hefty dollop of taxpayer cash as an inducement, and the standard of their play is often less than inspiring. The weekend just past, though, no complaints. It was worth quitting the blogface for a few days to follow the action at Kingston Heath, which was a verdant testament to the skills and dedication of the grounds staff.

The final day's round was nothing short of inspiring. Adam Scott drove like a demon, sank putts that defied belief and made mockery of bunkers that are some of the most formidable sources of misery ever dropped on a course anywhere in the world. He won, as we all know, and what made his victory even more laudable, apart from overcoming the lead Ian Poulter took into the final day, was that the Englishman was in tournament-winning form himself.

For those not interested in golf, a little bit of intelligence of a more specific nature: While chatting this afternoon with the president of the club where The Professor plays most often, the poor fellow became quite defensive when it was noted that the fairways are in worse nick than at any time in recent human memory.

"Don't blame me," he retorted, immediately fingering Tim Flannery as the culprit.

It seems that all the talk of Australia being plunged into perpetual drought inspired a decision some years ago to seed the fairways with a variety of kikuyu grass which does well in the heat. Unfortunately we have not had too much of that over the last few years.

As the president explained it, this particular grass needs a ground temperature of 22 degrees in order to thrive. So far, the highest reading has been 18 degrees, and this has meant divots aren't repairing themselves, growth is slow and the course looking very sad indeed.

Flannery! You wouldn't shout "fore!" if he ambled in front of your tee. No way.



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6 comments:

  1. The Old and Unimproved DaveNovember 19, 2012 at 7:09 PM

    Could be worse.

    There's what is supposedly a true story about a Canadian female newsreader who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

    Transmission was interrupted for a couple of minutes because the camera crew was kacking themselves laughing.

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    1. There have been others:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqowCnQb9Ys

      Cheers

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  2. How this clown Flannery is still employed by the government is beyond me.

    He has cost this nation billions of dollars with his ridiculous predictions.

    He should be forced into a national tour of desalination plants and golf courses, where he will be held in stocks for us peasants to hurl eggs and tomatoes at the prize twit.

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  3. Madness is rare in individuals - but in groups, parties, nations, and ages it is the rule.
    -Friedrich Nietzsche

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  4. Why dont we put him in a camp where he is made to "WORK" ? That four latter word so Hated by "Soshalist. intellactual Groins"twenty years on the Pick and Shovel would change his attitude,he would be Dreading Gullible Warming!

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  5. Serves these guys right for switching their brains off instead of making their own logical conclusions about the weather.

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