Saint Peter Of The Cross

THE BILLABONG’s visitors are mostly a decent, fair-minded lot, but just lately the moral tone of comments at this blog has taken a turn for the worse.  Ironic, really, as the catalyst for those gushes of suspicion and aspersion is a man of the cloth, the Honorable Peter Slipper, Speaker of the House of Representatives.

Now it is true that, as sects go, the Reverend Slipper’s denomination is one of the more obscure, and also that his bishop was convicted of rifling his own poor box, but let not those minor details elevate anyone’s suspicion that Slipper does not put his own faith into practice. The evidence is there, laid out and tabulated by Department of Finance investigators, whose accounting of Rev Slipper’s taxi trips has set some of this blog's commenters to noting the many pleasure palaces and carnal consultancies available to the traveller in the Kings Cross/Taylor Square area.

Please, let us lift our minds from the gutter.  Those cab rides detailed in the post below, one needs but a pinch of charity to see each and every stop as a testament to the Rev Slipper’s determination to back his faith with action.

What was he doing late at night on the grounds of the University of NSW? Taking his lead from St Francis and preaching to the possums, of course. Unlike his own electorate’s arboreal marsupials, righteous and upright creatures every one, your Sydney possum is given to vice and fauna-cation, so Rev Slipper must have felt no less than compelled to stop off in the Harbour City on his way to Canberra and see to their salvation. Here is just one of the many he baptised that night.

After that, it was off to Kings Cross, where many lost souls yearn for succour. Again, the Rev Slipper placed a faith tumescent to the fore and shared his love with those most in need.

Finally, exhausted from his outreach efforts, the Rev Slipper had just time to preach a final sermon in Taylor Square, where he won many converts amongst the sons of Sodom.

When our new Speaker introduces the prayer at the start of Tuesday’s parliamentary session, the first of the year, let none doubt that he is fit to utter it. 

Here endeth the lesson.