Tony "Black Arts" Hodges
Sought for questioning in connection with a Canberra race riot. Hodges is believed to travelling incognito and is said to enjoy the protection of the Parliamentary Press Gallery. Not believed to be dangerous unless encountered in company with pale people wearing Indigenous war paint and waving spears.
Hodges may be travelling with this woman, who presents herself as an Aborigine. Attention should therefore be paid to grant-issueing establishments.
Kim "Humpytown Crier" Sattler
Anyone observing this pair should contact the press on 03 8667 2250 and report the duo's whereabouts. Then they should call that number and repeat the information all over again, and again, and again, and again, and again. Do not be discouraged by loud yawns on the other end of the phone. That is the sound of quality journalism and is entirely normal.