Wednesday, March 27, 2013

A Suitable Case For Treatment

IS OUR Prime Minister bonkers?

One must never ridicule the touched, so be assured this question springs from the sincere concern that something has been misfiring behind those smart new glasses. The vulgar definition of madness is, of course, entirely subjective, one man’s stark-raving being another’s Christine Milne, so it can all get complicated and contentious very quickly. Like the Greens leader, roughly ten percent of the voting public believe fervently and fearfully that carbon goblins are the root of the world’s many ills, so practicality alone must broaden sanity’s definition. The world simply does not need that many new baskets, nor can the nation afford anywhere near enough calm, comforting institutions where Daily Life writers and the readers who love them can reach their full potential.

There are some behaviours, however, that embody mental illness beyond even a reverence for Bob Brown. In the PM’s case there are those chronic, incessant and transparent lies, which might strike some as the rattles of the odd loose screw. To other eyes, perfectly normal behaviour for a politician, and no reason whatsoever to suspect we have a loony in the Lodge. If she has failed as a fabulist, well hasn’t she failed at everything else to which she has turned those hands of thumbs?

See the problem? As this is a matter of national importance, expert opinion needed to be tapped. Fortunately, this was but a click or two away, thanks to the famous Mayo Clinic, where thefollowing boxes must be ticked before staff will break out the straightjacket and electric prod and wait by the entrance.

Each mental health condition has its own set of signs and symptoms. In general, however, professional help may be warranted if you or a loved one experiences
  • Marked change in personality, eating or sleeping patterns
  • Inability to cope with problems or daily activities
  • Strange or grandiose ideas
  • Excessive anxiety
  • Prolonged depression or apathy
  • Thinking or talking about suicide
  • Substance abuse
  • Extreme mood swings or excessive anger, hostility or violent behavior
Many people who have mental health conditions consider their signs and symptoms a normal part of life or avoid treatment out of shame or fear. If you're concerned about your mental health or a loved one's mental health, don't hesitate to seek advice. Consult your family doctor, make an appointment with a counselor or psychologist, or encourage your loved one to seek help. With appropriate support, you can identify mental health conditions and explore treatment options, such as medications or counseling.

Let us take each in turn:

Marked change in personality, eating or sleeping patterns: Can anyone doubt the PM evidences galvanic mood swings? Nice as can be with her mummy blogger pals, even to picking up the bill, the next day she is slashing away at the paltry stipends of single mums.

An eating disorder? Well, unless Tim waits until she sleeps before stuffing her unconscious craw with one of those crank-and-tube devices the Belgians use to force feed ducks, we can assume the hand on the fridge door has been hers alone.

A good night’s sleep? Impossible, what with having to keep one eye open lest Tim slip from the arms of his Venus to email a demand for free tickets and a corporate box for the Phillip Island Penguin Parade.

Inability to cope with problems or daily activities: Any doubters on this one?

Strange or grandiose ideas: Getting naked with Craig Emerson, how strange is that?

And what of the convictions that she can tamper with the global thermostat, stop thousands of illegal immigrants by shipping 800 to Malaysia, or most unhinged of all, produce a surplus by the odd expedient of spending more money?

Excessive anxiety: What will Tim do next?

Prolonged depression or apathy: Perhaps not. Loss of appetite is often associated with this condition, and there has been no evidence of that.

Thinking or talking about suicide: She has the date for September 14, only last week beating off an attempted intervention by Simon Crean.

Substance abuse: This explains the frequent appearances of that gremlin, Misogynist Tony, the sinister sprite only she can see.

Extreme mood swings or excessive anger, hostility or violent behaviour:

No doubt about that one.


  1. Be careful Mighty Bunyip, keep conflating mental illness with our beloved Dear Leader and the likes of Clementine Ford, Kasey Edwards, Clem Bastow and the ever more unstable Alecia Simmonds will stir from their slumber deep within the Daily Life dungeons at the New Age building, stretching their wings and screeching in anger as they swoop down on the Billabong, clutching a poor unsuspecting Bunyip in their talons to carry off to a nearby tree or rocky crag where they can spend endless hours reciting Feminist prose until you end it all by flinging yourself to the rocks below.


  2. Welcome back Bunyip , you have been missed .

  3. Welcome back Prof, you have been very much missed .... hope all is well at the Billabong.

  4. In our guts, we know she's nuts.

  5. A narcissistic psychopath with sociopathic tendencies? Well, yes, she is. So was the Big H; Stalin and Mao, although all three were probably clinically depressed, which La Gillard is clearly not.

  6. Welcome back, Bunyip, welcome back. You have no idea how you have been missed.

  7. 1. Where have YUUUUUUUUUUUUUU been???????!!!!!! (*)

    2. "IS OUR Prime Minister bonkers?" Yes!

    (*) "They" say that conservatives (or as "they" call them "extreeeeeeeeeeeeme right-wingers") use more exclamation marks than those from the "englightment side".

  8. It's just menopause. She'll get over it.

    1. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.March 28, 2013 at 5:53 PM

      Pete, I think you are onto something there.

      Menopause is plausible. Some women don't do it very well at all.

      Which is not to say of course that the Good Professor Bunyip is inccorrect in his extensive and well-evidenced diagnosis.

      Full-blown lunacy is definitely one on the cards as an excellent explanation for her erratic and irrational behaviours.

  9. Talk about divorced from reality... she still thinks she's done nothing wrong.

    Great to have you back!

  10. Welcome back Professor! Missed you. Yes, she is nuts.

  11. Good Friday morning and very thin pickings as I traverse my usual blog sites and newspapers.
    What joy then, to find that the "Funky Ableist" stone has been rolled away and that The Bunyip has risen.
    Your absence is well understood. Events over recent months have been so bizarre, that they would exhaust the talents of even the most gifted man of letters.

  12. And now there is the Donnie Darko dimension to it all.

  13. nuts???? bonkers?? way , she's just a feisty strong woman who speaks truth to the patriarchal power structure that attempts to mancipate her so. She continues to fight and struggle produce a better society against those who wish her and the working poor , ill! It is her against those who wish to perserve the status quo , to keep good women down, to stymie progress for their own and their mates personal gain.

    In doing so she has had to make herself hard, yes hard like a diamond- cold , hard but absolutely brillant! She has cleared out the old misogynist blokes from her side , the likes of Crean and Fergo through a carefully crafted trap to expose themselves. The real wacko , Rudd has been neutered like the bloated fat family feline he is - remember he is the source of most her policy woes. Woe which will now fall by the wayside or through her alchemist brillance - turn into gold.

    Now that the decks are finally cleared , she is well placed to take on the real enemy of decent , hard working , multi cultural Australians... yes the crypto racist , full blown misogynist, rape and plundering Tories ( Tory in the original meaning of the word!)

    Labor is about to go through a renaissance , a heavy duty , industrial revolution of policy that will power a political locomotive that will flatten the puny diminutive Abbot( yes I have seen in his speedo budgies), the surgically enhanced Hockey, the childless ice princess Julie Bishop ( an as a women , she is self loathing to be in the sexist party), the 'poodle', and the rest of the motley opportunistic shills for the robber barons.

    Ms Gillard , our PM , has set a carefully crafted trap for the dimwitted opposition who are coasting on trumped up lies propagated by the hate media. I will not elaborate on this plan but I will predict a leadership crisis in the Liberal camp as their policy vacuum sucks the very air around them , from them and they all collapse into a policy void of their own making. Bumbling Tony will not be able to mangle his sentences out of it. And he will CRACK! He will go all Cory Bernardi and talk about people marrying goats , he will go all old testament and rip into the gays, he will attack the single mums the 'dole bludgers' and our muslim brothers....and after seeing the real Tony , the voters will be repulsed.

    Then the election result will be a majority Labor and the real rebuilding will begin.

    And what of Bunyip, well he will retreat into his hole , drink increasing amounts of the cheap gin he likes and gibber away at the unfairness of it all to the conservative voices in his head. he will be saved when he is visited by three ghosts: Curtin, Chifley , and Gough- OK, Gough is not a ghost but he can negotiate the spirit realm at will. And then for a reason the Bunyip cannot quite fathom the colour will come back to his world and he will make it down to Fitzroy and sing the Internationale in a small local pub , having been gifted the 'truth'.

    Yes , Gillard is crazy alright....crazy like a FOX!

    1. I guess that explains her kissing Easter Bunny, attired Kyle Sandilands and frolicking with him down a fox/rabbit hole(or in his case hippo hole).

      Yeah she's smart... she knows what punters want. They want to vote her out themselves. Like a stubborn loadstone she's waiting for the cranes(voting public) to pick her up and dump her in the sewer(just so she'd feel at home). I never liked gutter politics anyway.

      Sweet dreams Clementine... or is it Deveny, you gap toothed hillybilly moron. You aint fooling anyone.

  14. Nope she is just a very nasty lady who likes her own way, and hates anyone who disagrees with her.Julia acts like a spoiled brat.

    Even her own mother has said, "What Julia wants, Julia gets", might have been better if her parents had said No a few times, but doubt it.

    Welcome back.