Thursday, January 26, 2012

Invasion Day Studies

MEMBERS OF the Mordy-Litijus tribe endure another day's oppression in Canberra.

Unaccustomed to whitefella ways, this court-recognised victim of injustice (above) nevertheless stands tall in his traditional studded denim jacket. Notice the totemic tatoo on his bicep, an indication he has reached manhood and is a full member of the Northcote clan.

A darker-skinned protester has cannily disguised himself as a policeman. Meanwhile, a real Aborigine takes pictures as another displays his ceremonial backpack and white shirt, the latter a reminder that he must accept only preferment, not poisoned flour.

Traditional symbols stress links with the past. This design evokes the annual Moomba ritual, sacred to the Melbourne mob.

Aborigines from all tribes socialise in a traditional shelter known as "a mar-quee". Fearful that Tony Abbott will complete the genocide his ancestors began, the couple in the lower right appear intent on producing another generation before it is too late. Look closely and you will see the native maiden's leg has been placed over the young warrior's shoulder, a universally recognised indication of imminent availability.

Pat Eatock, who taught Andrew Bolt a thing or two, displays a tribal fetish. It is revered as the footwear of a large, emu-like creature some still believe has the power to make everything turn to gold. This belief is fading, and much contemporary research has established the opposite to be the case.

On the sole and hidden from the camera is an enigmatic marking, "Town Mode" -- an incantation that is said to drive away journalists. There is a considerable body of evidence to suggest the spell works.


  1. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.January 27, 2012 at 12:04 AM

    One lost shoe and she's Mrs. Pavlov? She stays!!

    Oh God, no, no, no.

    1. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.January 27, 2012 at 8:38 AM

      oopps Prof. My mistake. Mrs. Petrov. (Pavlovian responses notwithstanding).

  2. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.January 27, 2012 at 12:10 AM

    Great work by the way Prof. You are really heating up that keypad. It's getting hard for this normal speed reader and occasional celebrator of our National Day to keep up with your cracking pace. But I am doing my best.
    As ever, Lizzie.

  3. These tribes people have a history when it comes to shoes: Julia will need to be careful that clog isn't maliciously returned as she's poised over a lectern.

  4. Congrats Prof, you have out done yourself here.

    Of course the punch line will be when, which ever Labour functionary clops out on it's little trotters to denounce Tony Abbott and explain how it's all his fault.

    Thier ABC are setting up the gag now.

    How we laughed !!

  5. PhillipGeorge(c)2012January 27, 2012 at 4:28 AM

    The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.
    Lenny Bruce

    Somewhere between Lenny Bruce and Richard Nixon a nation was in trouble. Nations with flags but rubbery constitutions - where the constitution of a people rightly has more to do with its stomach, intestines, and fortitude than "God-damned piece[s] of paper"

    It is no more nostalgic to think of a nation now than it is to think of Pierre-Auguste Cot's romantic genius.

    Where did your country go Prof? There is no recourse to the hegemon of anti christ but for an intelligent conversation about a man and a woman running from a storm. Find Eden, discover satan and know why Louis Pasteur was/ is right and Charles Darwin is wrong.

    There Prof - Western Civilization reconstituted - just add water.

    or get used to your Post National identity crisis!

    1. Pretentious crap!

    2. PhillipGeorge(c)2012January 28, 2012 at 12:00 AM

      It's all been done before Anonymous #6.28! - just jot me a few chemical transitional pathways to abiogenesis - like put up F

  6. They're not totally despicable, the irritated indiginees I mean. This has to make you smile: "a protester displayed one of Ms Gillard's blue high-heel shoes, which had fallen off during her hasty exit, and shouted: ''Gingerella, come get your shoe!''

  7. Is that indeed Gillard's lost shoe with the word Midas inscribed inside it? Pure comedy Gold!

  8. Prof, someone in Gillard's office may have been conducting the orchestra yesterday.

  9. Professor, any comment on the rumours now circulating that a member of the PM's office may have rung some of the 'elders' at the Tent Embassy and had a whisper in their ears about TA's comment and closed with a suggestion that "'maybe you can give them a bit of a liven up'"?


  10. Been out far west this week. Now, I have not been in Queensland long, and for the previous decade and a half I was in Canberra, and Melbourne for a bit before that. Used to run past the tent Embassy' big steel shed three times a week.

    So I know damned well what an aborigine looks like. Seen the buggers at least 3 times a week for 15 years or so. Aborigines are bludgers, white people who do not have jobs and spend a lot of time avoiding the concept entirely. They smoke a lot of weed and play a lot of American rap music. They are on the dole and wear slightly ragged clothing; most definitely they dodge soap with the relentless zeal of a Green after a government grant.

    So there I was in Alpha this week and there were all these black-skinned folks around. Quite a few were dressed in PPE, and they were also present at the site too!

    To my utter amazement, the locals insist these employed, clean, sober, non-bong-addled people are Aborigines! Poor fools.

    How I laughed. No, I said, aborigines are smelly white unemployed drug-crazed dole bludgers.

    Ah, you are from Melbourne or Canberra, they said, and moved on to other things.

    How did they know, my dear Professor?

    Mk50 of Brisbane

  11. "She's not Aboriginal...or she didn't look Aboriginal anyway" ~Barbara Shaw (on vid) So will Pat Eatock now sue Shaw?


  12. Well, it was NOT a funny event by any stretch of the imagination!
    But you take the piss so eloquently, sir, I just had to laugh--very, very droll!

  13. It was curious that early ABC footage showed a protester punching a police officer before the officer retalliated.
    Subsequently, the protester's punches were edited out and only the policeman's response remained.
    More curiously still, the policeman's response is accompanied protester spokesman saying the "ginger-headed" policeman needs to be charged - typical ABC!

  14. Making her hasty exit, it looked as though Ms Gillard was trying to enlist Mr Abbot as a new "running mate".