Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Justice For All!

A HEART committed to justice beats strongly at the Billabong, where all sorts of toxic “isms” can get a Bunyip riled. Discrimination against mythical creatures tops the list, of course, but a close second is speciesism, which imagines some lifeforms innately superior to all others.

Take horses, for example, which are intelligent , noble and loving animals, yet their dignity is compromised every day by the exploitive compulsion of imperialistic humanity to ride about on their backs. Once, before the world bore the tracks of mankind’s jackboots, horses roamed at will and exercised their equine right to self-determination. No longer. Tormented by the whips of bipedal oppressors, lacerated with spurs of hegemonic subjugation and confined for generations in squalid camps known as “stables”, horses have been disenfranchised, robbed of their birthright to roam freely o’er the grassy plains and seen the blood of martyred mobs poured into human food products.

It has gone on long enough!

So, comrades, a call to action and an invitation to join the Professor’s brand new, grassroots movement, Banish Dobbin’s Shame – BDS for short. Campaigners against equine injustice will be kicking off  the crusade any day now with a protest outside the  Macclesfield Adult Pony Club, which may sound kinky to some, but is no more than your usual collection of bankers, media manipulators and scheming horse oppressors. The goal will be to stop supporters of equine injustice getting into their clubhouse, scare off their sympathisers, annoy the club’s neighbours and have an awful lot of self-righteous fun with chants and shouted slogans.

There will be no need to fret about consequences or arrest, even if a number of attending policemen sustain injuries, as one of the Pony Club’s most energetic members is Magistrate Simon Garnett, who yesterday demonstrated an encouraging tolerance for rowdy protests by those who do not like Israel, Jews or chocolates. In dismissing charges against a gaggle of public nuisances arrested as part of the ongoing harassment of the Max Brenner shop in the QV complex, Garnett defended both the right to protest and the accuseds’ selective deafness:
Mr Garnett said while privately owned, QV was a public space and the protesters had a right to exercise their freedom of speech. Mr Garnett said there was no evidence the accused heard requests by QV management and police to leave.
"They entered for the purpose of conducting a political demonstration. They had a lawful right to enter QV Square," he said.
"It cannot be said it was the actions of the protesters that caused any obstruction, hindering or impediment to members of the public.
"They did not surround the premises with hostile intent or demeanour."
Magistrate Garnett, a workers comp specialist and keen student of ambulances' rear perspective before elevated to the bench in 2006 by then-Attorney General Rob Hulls, will find himself personally inconvenienced when he arrives to sling a saddle on his steed, but fear not! As his Max Brenner ruling demonstrates, he recognises the right to protest, to ruin others’ fun or businesses, is sacrosanct.

Sacrosanct, that is, until Tame Ted Baillieu, or whoever replaces Victoria’s Premier, gets around to putting some fresh bottoms on the bench.


  1. May be the animal rights groups should embrace this challenge.

  2. How little Ted can get up every day , look in the mirror and not then vomit over himself , will be long discussed at the annual jellyfish under the sea ball ... No doubt .

  3. The Old and Unimproved DaveJuly 24, 2012 at 1:37 PM

    The only good "ism" is an "isn't".

    1. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.July 24, 2012 at 4:04 PM

      Hey, isn't that the truth? QED OUD.

  4. Hello Prof!

    I went along to the Magistrate's Court this morning, to observe the follow-up to yesterday's win for the bolshie, anti-semetic freedom-fighters. In the latest instalment of 'Simon Says', numerous worthies had their charges upheld, but, of course, without conviction, with further lashings of wet noodles, via $100 fines, to be paid whenever they're good & ready... The proceedings were delayed for about two hours because, apparently, one of the 'learned friends', acting for some of the accused, hadn't bothered to show up.

    Yep, we have the finest legal system money can buy...

    Bill Thompson

  5. I think short men of stature make the best leaders. Our man in Queensland, diminutive Campbell Newman gets things done. We love him.

    Turf out Ted and get a short man instead. Preferably a Liberal. Short men always need to compensate and have something to prove to the world. Maybe hire a dwarf if short men are in short supply. Just a thought.

  6. What about all judges ,magistrates and lawyers being subject to annual asessment and payment by performance ? I suggest $10 an hour cpmpensation?

  7. The ironing...


    Mr Stary says people should be allowed to exercise their right of freedom of speech.

    "We don't live in a totalitarian regime, this is not Syria or Iraq or Egypt," he said.

  8. I think it is wonderful that we can finally identify a sitting judicial member who will protect 'freedom of speech'.

    I would have thought that the steps of the Magistrates Court would be a more suitable location for a gentle protest.

    1. Actually, I think a suitably rowdy group, with banners & bull horns, INSIDE one of Simon Garnett's court rooms, would be the best medicine. Chants of 'How do you like this at YOUR place of business, Simon?' may not be as welcome an expression of free speech, for him, in those circumstances...

  9. Any chance the proprietors of Max Brenners could claim that they have been offended on racial grounds, invoke the Anti-discrimination Act and ask for an urgent hearing before 'Iz 'Onner Judge Mordy?

    The Irish Lion

    1. Brilliant! Exactly what they should do. It's usually called fighting fire with fire.

  10. It's a laff though Prof, to see those who protested South African apartheid now on the receiving end of protests about Israel apartheid.

    We all sucked it up with interrupted rugby matches, rebel cricket tours, and sack cloth and ashes for our racial (racist) sins. Let's not do Labor's Barry Cohen out of his righteous history of protesting racial discrimination:

    However, credit where credit is due. Early in 1979 I [Barry Cohen] visited South Africa to get a close-up look at apartheid, that insane philosophy that had run South Africa since 1948.

    Let Bazza and Mal thrash it out over who done old Dixie on the southern African tip down, down, down:

    I had just become an MP and many of my early speeches were about apartheid. I was surprised that so few of my Labor colleagues knew or cared about what was going on in South Africa so I organised meetings in Parliament House to enable members from both sides of politics to listen to courageous individuals who had taken a stand against apartheid; from the South African poet Dennis Brutus, the five Wallabies who refused to play against the Springboks and later the journalist Donald Woods who had written the biography of Steve Biko.

    See, it was Bazza who bested Mal! What we needed (and need still) is to elect an "Australian" politician to lecture Australians about the evils of apartheid. Bazza explains all here:


    And here: http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2004/10/24/1098556291677.html

    Oh, wait a minute. Former ALP minister Barry Cohen used to be proud of his party because it fought prejudice. Not any longer.

    Read on for the laffs, and hypocrisy.

    No, that's not quite right. Is that really hypocrisy, or is it just that what *we* thought was anti-discrimination was really just about the assertion of the supremacy of one people's right to nationhood, over all other's rights to nationhood. We we discriminate, Barry's people are victims. Always the victims. Remember that*.

    I was accused of being obsessive on the question of racism and to that charge I plead guilty. I became deeply involved in the fight for Aboriginal rights and to this day one of the proudest moments of my life was to be one of a small group of "yesterday's heroes, looking frail and aged", who were brought on stage at the Reconciliation Conference in Melbourne in 1997 to be honoured for our work in the 1967 referendum.

    I highly recommend comparing Barry Cohen's attitudes to and boycotts of South African apartheid, and the aboriginal grievance industry in Australia, with his outrage that Israel and the Jews ever be depicted as anything but victims, never, never, never the oppressor.

  11. Here's another fantastic resource for comprehending what you thought was chutzpah, is really just justice: (http://books.google.com.au/books?id=FhYEpKw9OygC&printsec=frontcover&dq=jewish+history+australia&source=bl&ots=iLDDwls2Kq&sig=A6PSju9tujez67QfXjZdH8NUG5Q&hl=en&sa=X&ei=W4AQUPG2J7CXiAe2gIHICg&ved=0CDgQ6AEwATgK#v=onepage&q=jewish%20history%20australia&f=false)

    Best chapter for mine is Mark Leibler's "Crossing the Wilderness: Jews and Reconciliation" where Mr Leibler compares the Aboriginal experience in Oz, to that of the Jews in modern Israel. The astute student of history may well have thought the comparison would be accurate if it were Aboriginals and Palestinians being compared but, then, what would they know.

    Mark Leibler btw, was Chairman of the World Board of Trustees Keren Hayesod (http://www.abl.com.au/ablattach/leibler.pdf) whose duty it is to:

    Keren Hayesod - UIA, in partnership with the global Jewish community, works to further the national priorities of the State of Israel and Israeli society, with special emphasis on advancing weaker communities; nurturing disadvantaged and marginalized youth; encouraging aliyah; implementing rescue operations; and connecting young Diaspora Jews to Israel and Jewish life.


    Just remember, they are a people, you are not. Unless you're some sort of racist.

    *I'm sure all News Ltd journos understand this lesson well, after all, their leader is a medal recipient from the anti-discrimination vanguard organisation, the Soviet ADL.

  12. The Victorian Premier is so wet you could shoot snipe off him.