Monday, March 26, 2012

Faine-ing Intelligence

BUNYIPS are famous for general vigour and longevity, but not all physical attributes evidence the same durability. Take the spine, for example, which has long been a bit of a weak link, certainly as far as the Professor is concerned. The cold and damp can play havoc with discs and whatnot, so much so that a nice, firm bed, even without the diversion of a comely fellow occupant, can seem very close to the heavenly ideal. Fortunately, after an uncomfortable week atop a camp mattress, a bush refuge was at hand, courtesy of an old friend whose country property offers a guest house and, best of all, quite good connectivity, which was the irresistible temptation. Pain you can tolerate , but news that someone else is even more uncomfortable simply has to be pursued, especially when the writhing is being done by our lying Prime Minister and all her shifty pals. So late last night, the beneficiary of The Cocky’s charity and having heard only snippets of the grand news from Queensland, the full extent of the northern triumph poured through the ether. Such tidings! The back felt better within minutes and morale rocketed – an improvement that has continued as the delicious, tongue-tied anguish of this government’s supporters sloshes and surges about the fourth estate.

No doubt Insiders, which the Professor missed, provided a splendid example of that rage and frustration. At an educated guess, the show would have been chocka with observations about Tony Abbott’s deficiencies as a leader and the reasons why the Queensland crushing makes his appeal to the electorate more dubious than ever. That is just a guess, but as Laura Tingle was on the panel, a sure one. That’s the thing about the independent thinkers in our national media. They will cling to last week’s talking points until sent new ones, which their numbed informants would have been too shaken to issue as the Saturday night landslide swept all hope away.

And this morning? Well Jon Faine on 774 was just precious. Perhaps believing that Barnaby Joyce would make a good whipping boy, Faine invited the Queensland senator to discuss the election and Australia’s finances. Well, even by ABC standards, Faine was beside himself. If an audio link becomes available, it will be posted, but if Faine has any self-respect he will burn the tape.

When Joyce spoke of Australia’s mounting debts, Faine would permit not a word of response. He was off and running … Clive Palmer gave $4 million to the LNP, therefore his taxes should hiked … if the debt limit is reached, there will always be someone else to tax …  if spending exceeds income, big deal, all money is notional … warnings that LNP crooks in white shoes would soon be pillaging Queensland's coffers. Later in the show, still lacking the day’s talking points, he floundered through a passing attempt to link Queensland voters’ disenchantment to their affection for Kevin Rudd. The frothing went on for uninterrupted minutes, every second a tonic.

Please, for the poor man’s peace of mind, will someone in the PM’s office please shoot Faine an approved list of explanations for the Queensland wipeout?  Until that happens, he will not have a clue.


  1. Welcome back professor. I hope your back trouble improves.
    As a Queenslander it felt great to enter a polling booth and look at all the LNP how-to-vote-cards strewn in every booth! I giggled when I saw one red Labor card in a sea of blue.

    Post a link to Faine's radio show if you find it. We need more mirth.

    Did you see Clive Palmer's rant? Please post this link as it tends to enrage Lefties:

  2. I listened to Jon Faine trying to take down Barnaby Joyce (my bathroom radio still suffering from lack of MTR), way overstepping the mark for a radio interview host. He talked over him, through him, it sounded almost as if he didn't want what Barnaby Joyce said to be heard. I'd love to hear it again. What a dummy spit. Sorry about your back, have been eagerly awaiting your take on the Qld results. Yeehaa. Feel free to correct my punctuation. Struggling.

  3. Replacement words for “an approved list of explanations for the Queensland wipeout?”

    “full of reality pills so as to diminish his ranting”

  4. Ah Professor. I may have had a tipple or two Saturday evening (but then I did drink for you)to anyone with half a brain the election in Queensland was just s fore runner of Julia on the block.The delusion of some commentators is beyond belief.

  5. Yes, Ms Tingle was as usual on about that terrible Tony Abbott. She said "Tony Abbott will have to change -- --- " just shortly after they had shown the Coalition leading,as it consistently has, by 54% to 46% on 2 party preferred. And I thought, why does he have to change with a lead like that?
    I must be missing something!

  6. Welcome back, Professor. I can sympathise re your spinal problems having put up with same for the last 40 odd years, in my case, down to leaping out of choppers with all my worldly possessions on my back. Best cure is exercise to maintain tone in the relevant trunk muscles that help align the spine.
    As to the Queensland result - undoubtedly a triumph for the LNP. Having said that, one small (and inconvenient) fact given the hype is that despite the result in seats, a majority of Queenslanders chose not to vote for the LNP.
    Total LNP = 49.7%. Total other parties = 50.2%. (figures at - - Anthony Green's excellent site).

    1. I'm usually very supportive of our armed forces and veterans. But in your case, your persistent nastiness precludes it. You can't accept the result of the QLD election without trying some desperate ploy like that. I have to tell you that's how democracy works, and that 7.2% of the vote was wasted on the Greens, so an absolute majority was pissed up against a wall by frootloops. Oh Dear. How sad. Never mind.

    2. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.March 26, 2012 at 11:02 PM

      Last Vietnam Vet I ran into a few weeks ago was doing a delivery to my place and we got to briefly talking; he then declared his attraction and asked if there was a Mr. around or not. I was not insulted. He liked my politics. Also, maybe I could go for a red-blooded guy with tats, although he had to accept that there definitely was a very active and insanely jealous Ape around, so no hope.

      I admire Vietnam Vets for all that they did to halt Communisim. They were badly treated when they returned, too. You also give the Prof your good advice about how to keep going physically. I like that too. We need him.

      Thus I forgive you for your current politics. 49.7% for ONE party is pretty good in my book, although not in yours. Your Party may not even be one in Queensland! Yippee!!

    3. "Your Party"
      Elizabeth is clairvoyant - she knows how I vote (or thinks she does).

    4. Yeah, I see your point. It's all over for the LNP. Pffft. HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa

    5. Perseveration. Get treatment.

    6. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.March 27, 2012 at 12:44 PM

      Yep, Numbers, please take my card. Madame Elizabeth, aka Gypsy Lizzie, at your service. Clairvoyance a Specialty, - but in small type 'nothing guaranteed'.

      I admit too that 49.7 is for a Coalition, but acting like one Party. Don't tell me you voted Green? Or Katter? I must have a cross word with my crystal ball.

  7. In our household Jon Faine is known as "Bubble-boy". The world Jon inhabits is an artificial one. He would not know reality, unless of course the definition of reality changes to "taxpayer funded entitlement"

  8. Spot on about Insiders Prof.
    Through a Force Ten hangover I could just make out Laura Tingle's mug on the telly.
    She looked as if she had just had a big glassful of what Jim Styne's (RIP) had allegedly been taking as a cancer treatment.
    And, right on cue, she launched into a diatribe about the lesson ...... wait for it ... for Abbott.
    The lesson is that negative campaigns don't work but she failed to distinguish between campaigns that attack dud policies vs cynical, slanderous, baseless, personal attacks on an opponent.

    Then that toothy goose Beattie sticks his head up and proclaims that Bligh should resign South Brisbane making way for Fraser or Dick who have just been turfed out of erstwhile safe ALP seats!
    Jeeezus ... have they learned nothing.
    I have it on good authority from a couple of mates in Brisbane (neither given to hyper-bowl) that people are white-hot with rage about that one today.

    The Irish Lion

  9. “All money is notional”
    For Chrissakes he didn’t actually say that did he?
    That sounds like the sort of crack-pot hippie economics espoused by Prof Steve “Kosciusko” Keen.
    Here’s a thought Faino you clown!
    Why don’t you ask the ABC to draw your pay cheque on Notional Australia Bank. When you turn it into Notional cash you might be able to buy yourself a Notional Panasonic TV. Or, if consumerism is not your thing Faino, maybe you could put some Notional money away for a rainy day with Notional Mutual. Although, it is possible that this Notional money concept could be useful. For example, I sure wish they were spending Notional money on a Notional Broadband Network. And I dream about the day Faino is working for the Notional Broadcaster.
    This is exactly the sort of crap which the Greeks dug their great big hole with.
    Typical of public sector leeches who have never run a business or had a real job.

    The Irish Lion

  10. Welcome back Tovarish Professor, may your back feel better .Soon we can watch GilLIARd go to the Block like Charles first but of course with a lot less Dignity.

  11. Numbers, your apparent ignorance as to how the electoral system works is profound. So, incidentally, is your dishonesty (or at least disingenuousness) for omitting to quote the ALP's primary vote.

    In a straight proportional-representation system your complaint might - MIGHT - have some legitimacy. But that's not what's happening here. It's an electorate-by-electorate, optional-preferential system, and the party with the most seats at the end of the day wins. You want to change that? Campaign for change. But otherwise STFU and accept what happened. IMO part of the reason for the way things are set up the way they are is so that vested interests in the big cities do not consistently overwhelm and marginalise the bush, which is what would probably happen if all the votes were pooled.

    1. "STFU" - American patois.
      I'm Australian - I will always treat that with the contempt it so thoroughly deserves.
      My comment has nothing to do with the electoral system. The Bjelke-Petersen gerrymander was fixed long ago.
      It was directed at the hype generated by the MSM since the election. Obviously, that has sailed right over your head.

  12. Oh bravo, Professor, it's good to have you back!

  13. Commence list:

    1. misogyny

    2. abbott ...

    1. 3. not selling the message

      4. Queenslanders were focussed on state issues only

      5. that Tony bloke again...

  14. Someone should cc Kate Jones on the latest talking points too. She was still using the old ones and campaigning hard during what sounded like a victory speech when they crossed to her around 9PM. At least some of the other outbound Labor MP's were speaking their own thoughts on the night. Not Kate (The Muppet) Jones though. The ALP deserve everthing they got for preselecting so many empty headed morons.