Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Everyone's Favourite Deadbeat Dad

THAT wretched man David Hicks is about to cost the taxpayer even more money, what with prosecutors demanding the royalties from his memoir of an innocent backpacker’s holiday gone wrong. Given that his countrymen paid for the private plane that brought the tiny terror home from Guantanamo Bay, you might think general revenue would have first claim on whatever profits he has amassed. Send a bill, clean out his bank account and everything will be settled, with no need for many learned friends to run up fees likely to be much larger than the amount, said to be about $60,000, at the centre of the wrangle.

Or perhaps the fruits of Allah’s beneficence should go a woman called Jodie Sparrow, the mother of Hicks’ two children, who told 60 Minutes in 2007 how their father ended his paternal visits and stopped paying child support. There must be a pretty penny owing there, surely?

True, Hicks might be left skint, but he has so many close friends that should not be too much of a problem. The David Hicks Dancers could always come out of retirement and put on a benefit.


  1. Hicks does not seem to be a Mussulman these days but I seem to recall that there may be an Islamic penalty for apostasy. A six-pack of lager, perhaps? A stern admonition? A deprivation of royalties?

  2. His good friend Dick Smith should be good to foot the entire bill.

  3. Mr Hicks is lucky that the soldiers responsible for his custody were not of the calibre of the late, lamented (by some) Harry "Breaker" Morant. Otherwise it would have been "Rule 303" for him.