Thursday, August 25, 2011

So That's Where The Scouring Pad Went

NOT to dwell on the infirmities of the past day, but there was one particular moment when the physical ordeal seemed to be spawning a series of horrific hallucinations. Exhausted, stretched out on the coach, limp arm hooked around the waiting bucket, a woman’s voice could be heard saying the most foul and extraordinary things.

“I am now going to show my c***,” it said.

What a remarkable thing to hear! One bleary eye opened in a head half-raised to scan the Billabong’s livingroom, where the ABC’s Artscape was filling the telly with an incomprehensible documentary about a posse of theatrical luvvies attempting to put on a show.

Could the national broadcaster really be beaming such language into taxpayers’ homes? Both eyes were open, wide open, by this stage, and yes, that is exactly what the dark-haired woman on the screen was doing -- getting her gear off and showing the folks her c***.

See for yourself the sort of culture Mark Scott and pals think Australia wants and needs (start watching at the 2:20 mark). Don’t approve? How uncool you must be. Don’t believe the pud-baring added anything to the sum of human knowledge, not one little bit? You pathetic philistine.

Artscape is one of the programmes Scott has decided to cut in order to underwrite more episodes of Hungry Beast, Angry Boys and the like. It will be no great loss to see it go – and wouldn’t it be so much nicer if, for no other reason than endemic bad taste, Artscape were to take the rest of the ABC with it?

Patience. Abbott seems increasingly likely to be the next PM, and quite possibly sooner than the fondest hopes of just a few weeks ago would have deemed possible. This time, unlike John Howard, we might just be getting a leader prepared to fix the ABC once and for all.


  1. "Fix the ABC ..." ??? Shirley you must be joking Professor Bunyip! Everyone knows you can't polish a turd. Privatise it. Let them sink or swim based on whether they can attract eyeballs.

  2. Coincidental of course, but it was intriguing to hear the opening line: "I think I'm in that kind of free-fall time". Pretty relevant at present. BTW, just what was the point of her revelation of her map of Tasmania?

  3. In my fondest dreams, the next PM would indeed shut down the ABC, and give the much-needed cash to widows and orphans and such. But there are too many fuddy-duddies (John Howard is just one) who have an emotional attachment to it, harking back to the days of Blue Hills and the Argonauts. So unfortunately, our hard-earned will continue to be spent on pointless rubbish and commo propaganda. But the day will come, when Parliament is full of people who have grown up with internets and ipads, who don't care about dinosaur products like radio and TV, where someone will ask, to general assent, "Why are we funding this rubbish?" It will be a sweet moment, and I hope I'm around to see it.

  4. I love the fact that there is a disabled lavatory behind her. It perfectly displays the mores of our time: overwheening tweeness that lands us with useless toilets and earnest disdain of sexual morality that is in itself not sexy.

  5. But did she? Not in the bit I watched. Perhaps there is some confusion between bush and c*** or did even the ABC blanch at airing the full gynaecological examination of her art?

  6. Not particularly riled about this one, Prof, but I wonder if you've heard the story about the unfortunate ABC radio presenter who committed to air, live, the following spoonerism:


  7. Spiny Norman: Mythbusters had an epsisode in which they demonstrated that you *can* polish a turd.

  8. A few points:

    1. What useless drivel

    2. What useless people

    3. Very many females 16-60 have T&C worth looking at - she most certainly did not.... and had a sort of raddled look about her.

    4. This garbage is not worth paying for - let them sink or swim after privatisation.

    Glad to hear you are better, my dear prof. Sounds like it might have been a bacterial food poisoning. Very nasty.


    MarkL of Canberra

  9. I wish she hadn't have shown us that rattie bush and droopy set of boobs and her gut

    that was awful

    as someone said, what was the point?

  10. Thought I was watching SBS for a second and had a mini panic attack when I couldn't see the subtitles.

    Also, it looked to me like the chemical creativity needed to be upped a few doses in that lot. Obviously their last batch was... defective.

  11. Walter Plinge: I stand corrected! ABC needs a *lot* of polishing though. Not a job for the faint-hearted. And imagine the smell ...

  12. Her rambling monologue was even more disturbing than the actual fact of her disrobing. Basically seemed to boil down to "I'm going to show you my **** whether you want to see it or not!"

    Sack these demented morons. Oh for when the biggest controversy on the ABC was "Are we corrupting our kids by letting them watch 'The Goodies' every evening?"

  13. Hmm, Don't agree with mk50, she is a fine figure of a woman who has done a few miles. How anyone could think the content of the show was in any way engaging is beyond me. "I can't explain it, but I can show you through interpretive dance" seems to be the attitude. It's the mediocrity of the whole thing that gets me. Worse than a school play. I suppose acting or performance skill, and class, is elitist or something.

  14. Viewers who lasted the distance got to see an aging, self-obsessed demoraliser in action. It was scary.

  15. Is this what our tax payers dollars are being spent on? Who the hell wants to watch a late 40 something year old harpy strip off her clothes and expose her saggy body to the world?

  16. The thing that struck me most about this wasn't her disrobing, but the bromidic performances of the aged primary cast members. Surely most performers of this vintage have attained a modicum of proficiency beyond that displayed. Perhaps the cameraman was particularly unpleasant type and shot them at their worst. There can be no other explanation...