Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Signs Of The Times

NOTHING to do on Saturday? Why not head for the City Square and work out some of those bourgeois fixations – you know, that oppressive compulsion to roll out of bed, go to work, pay the mortgage and, much as it rankles, accept with silent forebearance that large chunks of your weekly earnings will be re-directed to the producers of Crownies, The Drum’s contributors, Jonathan Holmes’ beautician and, of course, sundry departments of Indigenous Lesbian Studies & Climate Justice at Australia’s proliferating institutes of higher learning. Don’t be shy, it’s easy, and the Occupy Melbourne crowd will take you unto its bosom without a moment’s hesitation, for such is the commitment to justice that all manifestations of public idiocy will be accorded equal respect.

The key is to look the part, so skip the morning shower and shun that comb and hairbrush. Wear your gardening clothes, and wear them with distinction if they bear evidence of recent manure-spreading. And carry a sign. You must have a sign, so begin right now by putting some thought into its sentiment.

“Saddam’s Oil, Give It Back” might work, as would anything denouncing the Zionist Entity. According to the #occupymelb tweeters, many protesters will move from City Square to a second demo against evil, chocolate-pushing Jews. Apparently Melbourne Museum is a site no less sacred than the Wailing Wall to local Hebrews, so that is where the crowd will gather to stop Palestinian babies being dipped in  dairy milk, stuffed with a sweet gefilte fish filling and garnished with Arab grannies’ eyeballs.

Jew-baiting not your thing? Not to worry, many other acceptable options present themselves. “Crew Cabs Are Spew Cabs” is sure to win a warm endorsement, and you could be mistaken for Don Watson, which might also provide an instant education in the Left’s reverence for its leading snobs. So, in addition to spurning soap and grooming, spare the Sorbent after the morning’s movement. There will be plenty of eager tongues to perform that service for you.

Then again, why not break fresh ground? The animating spirit of the Occupiers is so catholic in its resentments, so broad in gathering diverse grievances, that your sign should probably be pointedly obtuse. “Patriarchy Begins With Dad” – that’s a ripper, and sure to resonate, as lefttoids from Phillip Adams to Margo Kingston all seem to have had big problems with their fathers.

“The Hegemon is Not A Rastafarian Gardener” might make an easy entre to the always popular topic of race, which would open an opportunity to note on your placard’s obverse, “McMansions No. Gunyahs Yes” or the straightforward “Protect Free Speech. Gag A Dutchman”.

And since it is an Occupier’s duty to challenge all comfy nostrums, give serious thought to the disconcerting. Remember, as the ABC demonstrates nightly, it is now polite to be vulgar, so manifest your appreciation with “ABC: All Bourgeois C___s”, which will mightily confuse any of Aunty’s representatives who assumed they would be covering a larger, outdoor version of lunchtime chatter in the broadcaster’s Southbank cafeteria. Your fellow protesters may be baffled by the attack on their favourite media source, but the obscenity will win them over quick smart.

So get out there on Saturday and embrace democracy. If your fellow protesters get their way, we may not have it for too much longer. 

UPDATE: On second thought, why tax your own grey matter when Occupiers in the US are such a font of inspiration. Check out Urban Infidel's picture show and make a point to play the final video. You will have to listen hard, but you should be able to make out the speaker's insistence that the right to have sex with animals is a fundamental freedom.  Must be what they mean by dog whistlin'.


  1. Bunyip - you're an anachronism .
    You'd have been more at home in the 70s when those who took to the streets against the absurdity that was Vietnam were vilified as ferals and hippies. As history shows, the demonstrators prevailed, the dominoes didn't fall, and the cynical use of fear of communism as a means to hold on to power was revealed. Unfortunately over 500 young diggers were used as political collateral.......
    Many more suffered in the aftermath as did their families.
    These young people will influence the politics of greed and fear, no matter how much abuse you pile on them.
    The people united will never be defeated.

  2. You said a sign is a must.

    Before I join Elvis I intend to participate in at least one outing with Marching Dills. My sign will be two sided (this has to be a first) and will say: "Shame on Qantas - they never upgrades me" and "White Cars Is Racist".

    I expect to be congratulated on my sign's relevance, sensitivity, contextualisation and significance.

  3. Thanks Prof. I got four good belly laughs and a few giggle out of this post. The last one "Sex with animals" I didn't believe until I watched that clip. Whats wrong with those people repeating the slogans? You wouldn't catch me dead sitting around with that lot...

  4. PhillipGeorge(c)2011October 12, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    1735099 - united for what? this?
    spell it out if you want to say something?
    these above articles?

    If this is just greenisms/ antisemitisms/ reformatted greed/

    Oliver Cromwell's excursion had some points to make. The French had a bloody mess "by comparison" - one from which they still haven't recovered.

    make a point! united for what - sloganeering?

  5. @1735099 Have you ever had the oportunity to speak with any of the returned soldiers from Vietnam or the Vietnamese that moved to Australia after the glorious victory of the Communist forces? It helps to listen to views other than those of your own tribe.

  6. "As history shows ... the dominoes didn't fall ... 500 young diggers were used as political collateral"

    The dominoes didn't fall thanks to those young diggers. And you would take that from them. Well done, Teach.

  7. It's OK, Phillip George. The Digital Dude has been on lots of sites with the same inanities.
    He got sent to Darwin during the Vietnam war and hasn't gotten over the things he saw there.

  8. I am one of those diggers (7RAR - 2nd tour). The only time I saw Darwin was when we landed to refuel on RTA.
    We were abandoned by politicians on both sides - Coalition included. At least the Labor supporters were honest. We were political collateral, expendable and treated with contempt and disregard until 1987. You don't have the wit to distinguish duty from cause.
    If you you were fair dinkum about honoring my service you'd pay some attention to what history has taught us about conscription in conflicts when the politicians "volunteer" other people's sons in a doubtful adventure.

  9. "The people united will never be defeated". Gee, I wish I had thought of that. As for signs, here's one from the mid-1960s, USA: "Creeping socialism now!"

  10. Sign: "Betrayed 12/10"

  11. Mr Numbers: Mr Demagoguery.

    I have a question.

    Did you get special consideration off your teaching career by a few months served in Vietnam? Free degree perhaps? No 'wake in fright' 2 years rural bond?

    You used the word honesty - let's have yours.

  12. Oh, and the "rural bond". You're displaying your ignorance. There was no rural bond. There was a three year bond that applied to all, irrespective of where you were posted. For conscripted teachers it meant your call-up was deferred for twelve months and you were enlisted after one years' teaching. I went from a teacher's salary to a baggy arse's pay, had to pay my superannuation contributions up front, and lost two years of valuable teaching experience. Jo Bjelke-Petersen's government, unlike administrations in other states was too lousy to provide make-up pay.
    I guess make-up pay would have been "creeping" socialism. Conscription, of course, must have been OK - it was an initiative of a conservative government.

  13. Expect to see a lot of White People Make Me Nervous T shirts, but don't bother complainign about them :)

  14. "... lost two years of valuable teaching experience."
    And apparently made no effort to recover them. Given that Numbers-Boy became a pedagogical specialist, and later a head-master, it is evident that he was unable to build upon his jungle time as a spud peeler.